fear of God the beginning of wisdom?

Proverbs 9:10 –  The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
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I told a friend today that I had experienced fear of the Lord, and it changed me forever. I said it cannot be explained, but has to be experienced to appreciate. It would do wonders for humanity if its political leaders experienced fear of the Lord.
I pretty much experience fear of the Lord ongoing. I daily fret over whether or not I am carrying out the tasks given to me in the way angels taught me and advise me in my dreams and in other ways when I am awake. The angels regularly let me know there is room for more improvement.
I sometimes wonder if I’m an experiment? If the angels found the sorriest man around to try to see if they could change him, and, if they could, then they would be able to change people less messed up than he was?
During my life, I have known a few people who experienced fear of the Lord and angel visitations, based on what they told me they had experienced, or I was with them when it happened and saw it shake them to their cores.
Yeah, there were lots of wondrous, uplifting experiences, too. But for me, at least, fear of crossing God and those angels was the ever constant thread, because they had shown me up close and personal what all they could do to me anytime they wanted to do it, and there was nothing I could do about it but endure.
Not convinced, however, that there is any way to actually know the Unfathomable – God. Angels tell me they don’t even know God, but they know more about God than I do, and they are trying to teach me and other people to live as they live, which is very different from how I used to live.
I dunno. Perhaps if I had not prayed to God for help and offered my life to human service in 1987, those angels would have left me alone? Perhaps I would be dead by now, or on a locked ward?
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A poem jumped out of me in 2007 and laid it out this way.
SHANGHAIED
A calling to serve carries its own wisdom,
which legitimates both the calling and the serving
so that the two are one.
Only the one called to serve
can know this wisdom,
and for some who are called
the knowing comes easily,
while for others the knowing is a fiery baptism.
Each calling is different,
and while some callings can be declined,
others cannot,
and those whose calling is without repentance
know they are in it for the duration of the calling,
and while others may try to persuade them out of it,
the calling for ones such as these always prevails.
Thus is it advised to all called for keeps
that they view their calling as a blessing
even when it seems at times to be a curse,
and that they try to reconcile the loss of their captain status,
and allow the Spirit of God to man the helm of their ship,
and be glad and willing crew members thereon,
knowing that all sailing ships of souls
need a crew as well as a captain
to maintain and navigate the ship through
seas of many tones, depths and flavors.
So consider each league sailed
as part of the overall journey
going to where the captain deigns to go
by using whatever winds and sea currents available
to navigate the ship to the experiences
this ship and crew need to have
in order to fulfill their calling and its wisdom
revealed by the journey of many leagues,
many known only to the ship and its crew,
all of whom come to know,
some sooner than others,
that once conscripted
there is no safe jumping ship

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